resolving to change

This is the time of year when the resolve is fading from everyone's New Year's Resolutions.

We have dubbed January 18th as "National New Year's Resolution Abandonment Day". This is the day that most people run out of energy for all the changes that seemed like such a good idea after the third glass of champagne on New Year's Eve.

Starting something is one thing, finishing it is another. Lasting change is rare and implementing change is hard. Whether it's personal issues like health or improving relationships with spouses, kids and friends, or business issues like getting out and making more sales calls or organizing time more efficiently, many change initiatives fizzle out long before the expected results occur.

In our experience, the culprit is willpower. My current results in my personal life and business are the results of my personal and business habits. Some of these are great, others are not getting me what I want. For example, my cupcake and television habit is not as good a pathway to my goal weight as salad, portion control and regular exercize. So I can eat a small salad and hit the gym, but the enormous power of the negative habits eventually defeat my nascent change initiative. Cupcakes trump salad and the couch trumps the gym. The old habits are more comfortable, being locked in place by a complex system of emotions and inconscious attitudes.

We think of habit changing as a two part process. If I stick with a new habit for 30 days I establish an "unstable habit." I have started to feel the benefits of the new pattern but I am at risk for reverting back to the less constructive but more comfortable habits. If I continue the new habit set for another 60 days, I create enough positive new feelings associated with the new habits, get the results I seek and establish a "stable habit".

So here's the problem, most of us don't have 30 days of willpower "in the tank". One of the solutions is good support. By borrowing the will of a professional coach, trainer, team mate or dedicated friend, we can push through the critical 12 day period. If I keep my supporters on for the next two months, I reduce the risk of slipping back. I get a hint of the results I'm seeking, change my attitude and start feeling differently.

Armed with a brand new stable habit in a area of my personal life or business, I then use my support team to help change the next habit.