I have one cat, which is to say that my wife has one cat that she was kind enough to bring into the marriage. I had two kids from a previous marriage, so fair is fair.
I was thinking it would be funny to leave the body of this post blank since I'm not a cat person, but I have come to respect the little bastard over the 19 years he's been here:
1. Cats have attitude. The fiercest of my malamute sled dogs is our female Kali. Kali is a genuine alpha bitch and we keep her away from all other dogs outside of our pack because she seems to have a desire to kill everything. She is very sweet to humans but if you are a fellow critter, not so sweet. One day I heard a scream from the kitchen and I rushed in to find my daughter trying to pull Kali off the cat. The cat was covered in blood and I rushed him upstairs, all the while trying to figure out how I was going to explain this to my wife. Plato the cat, at the time, weighed a scant 6 pounds, as he had kidney failure and has no front claws, so I was expecting catastrophic injuries. There was not a single wound on the cat. I went downstairs to find Kali licking a half dozen spurting wounds. The cat handed her her ass.
2. Cats know how to read people. I hate cat hair on my clothing and Plato has some sort of sonar that tells him when something black has been laid out on a flat surface and is thus available to be laid upon. He is helping me to be less neurotic. Sadly to say, it's be working.
3. Cats are independent. No stress at all for travelling, unlike dogs who will crap all over the house and eat all the food you give them in one sitting.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
the three most awesome things about dogs
I have four malamute sled dogs and I have learned much about myself and my other fellow human pack animals.
1. Dogs are not fussy about what they eat. My eldest dog is 11, which means he's eaten the same bowl of kibble over 8000 times, and he's enthusiastic about it every single time. Another of my dogs, in the same day, ate a steaming pile of horseshit and an uncooked ribeye steak I left carelessly on the counter; he had the same look on his face in each case.
2. Regardless of the "mood" a dog is in, she is ready and willing to give you all the affection you could possible want. My female dog is a face licker. You might think you are fast enough to move your face and avoid a sloppy wet french dog kiss, but you would be wrong, as I have been on too many times than I care to remember.
3. Apologies to cat lovers here, but dogs are not cats. No further explanation required.
1. Dogs are not fussy about what they eat. My eldest dog is 11, which means he's eaten the same bowl of kibble over 8000 times, and he's enthusiastic about it every single time. Another of my dogs, in the same day, ate a steaming pile of horseshit and an uncooked ribeye steak I left carelessly on the counter; he had the same look on his face in each case.
2. Regardless of the "mood" a dog is in, she is ready and willing to give you all the affection you could possible want. My female dog is a face licker. You might think you are fast enough to move your face and avoid a sloppy wet french dog kiss, but you would be wrong, as I have been on too many times than I care to remember.
3. Apologies to cat lovers here, but dogs are not cats. No further explanation required.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
the top three most awesome book titles that never got published
These book ideas all contain (or bury under a cloak of sarcasm) a kernel of wisdom that is so simple that the book would not sell:
1. on health and fitness: "how to lose weight by eating less and working out more"
2. on relationships: "how you can be different so I can be happy"
3. on selling and business strategy: "hope– how to succeed without doing any of that messy work"
1. on health and fitness: "how to lose weight by eating less and working out more"
2. on relationships: "how you can be different so I can be happy"
3. on selling and business strategy: "hope– how to succeed without doing any of that messy work"
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
the top three most awesome things about steve jobs
Steve Jobs was my hero, the entrepreneur and person I most admired:
1. He invented the concept of awesome: things were either "insanely great" or "complete crap" and the things that he created were more often the former than the latter.
2. He made design a legitimate business strategy: he led the world to more blockbuster products than any another entrepreneur in history save Leonardo DaVinci (the personal computer, the powerbook, "toy story", the iPod, iTunes , the iPhone, etc.)
3. He understood the intimate and necessary connection between passion and death: http://www.ted.com/talks/steve_jobs_how_to_live_before_you_die.html
I regret never meeting him.
1. He invented the concept of awesome: things were either "insanely great" or "complete crap" and the things that he created were more often the former than the latter.
2. He made design a legitimate business strategy: he led the world to more blockbuster products than any another entrepreneur in history save Leonardo DaVinci (the personal computer, the powerbook, "toy story", the iPod, iTunes , the iPhone, etc.)
3. He understood the intimate and necessary connection between passion and death: http://www.ted.com/talks/steve_jobs_how_to_live_before_you_die.html
I regret never meeting him.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
the top three most awesome things my son said as a kid
My son Kyle just turned 20 and moved to Sydney, Australia to become a chef at the Cordon Bleu school. He made the best hollandaise sauce ever at the age of five and along the way said some interesting things:
1. At age 3: "because yeah" or "because no" or "both", in answering why he either other wanted something or didn't want something or wanted both alternatives, because, in the end, he didn't think he had to justify himself to anyone.
2. At age 4: "usually I'm introspective, but today I feel like talking".
3. At age 5: "look dad, surface tension", while holding his spoon up in the air with ice-cream stuck to it, a day after I explained the concept of surface tension to him as a joke.
Kids are way smarter than we think they are.
1. At age 3: "because yeah" or "because no" or "both", in answering why he either other wanted something or didn't want something or wanted both alternatives, because, in the end, he didn't think he had to justify himself to anyone.
2. At age 4: "usually I'm introspective, but today I feel like talking".
3. At age 5: "look dad, surface tension", while holding his spoon up in the air with ice-cream stuck to it, a day after I explained the concept of surface tension to him as a joke.
Kids are way smarter than we think they are.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
the top three most awesome things my daughter said as a kid
My daughter just turned 18 and is currently traveling by herself in Australia. She's always seemed ahead of her time and an old soul:
1. At age 4: I'm late to pick her up at day care four days in a row and holding my hand as we toddle to the car she says: "Daddy, you're losing your 'tegrity. Show does not know how to spell or pronounce the word but she knows how to nail her father to the wall with it.
2. At age 5: we are camping out in the Ghost River area, everyone but Maren and I have gone to bed, I'm drifting off in front of the fire and she's says: "I have thoughts that nobody knows about". I wake up immediately recognizing that this is not going to be some standard 4 year old babble. She goes on to explain her theories of the genesis of the universe and the structure of human consciousness. In retrospect, she might be right.
3. At age 7: she has completed her first year of school and tells me the friend making strategy she's learned: "it's better to make friends at the start of the year, because if you wait until the end of the year to try to make friends with someone, it could take up to five minutes."
"They grow up so fast" is a cliché, but it's a cliché for a reason.
1. At age 4: I'm late to pick her up at day care four days in a row and holding my hand as we toddle to the car she says: "Daddy, you're losing your 'tegrity. Show does not know how to spell or pronounce the word but she knows how to nail her father to the wall with it.
2. At age 5: we are camping out in the Ghost River area, everyone but Maren and I have gone to bed, I'm drifting off in front of the fire and she's says: "I have thoughts that nobody knows about". I wake up immediately recognizing that this is not going to be some standard 4 year old babble. She goes on to explain her theories of the genesis of the universe and the structure of human consciousness. In retrospect, she might be right.
3. At age 7: she has completed her first year of school and tells me the friend making strategy she's learned: "it's better to make friends at the start of the year, because if you wait until the end of the year to try to make friends with someone, it could take up to five minutes."
"They grow up so fast" is a cliché, but it's a cliché for a reason.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
the top three most awesome things about Las Vegas
My partner Aly Pain and I just spoke at our first international conference for the International Coach Federation in Las Vegas, on the topic of selling with integrity. This was awesome in itself but there were three additional Las Vegas qualities that made it more so:
1. the Fountains of the Bellagio: because every 15 minutes an elegant dance of water cannons blasts cool shafts of water high into the night sky to the music of Sarah Brightman and other awesome musicians.
2. Cirque de Soleil: because America is in massive financial dire straights and the most entertaining and lucrative part of its primary symbol of decadence–the strip–comes from Canada, and Quebec at that.
3. the standard Las Vegas women's uniform: I'm going old-school manly here, but the combination of cleavage, heels and short dress really works, especially when pulled off awesomely by my 47 year old wife with all the correct equipment to do so. (My business partner looked pretty awesome in her uniform as well and her husband Jeff was pretty pleased.)
1. the Fountains of the Bellagio: because every 15 minutes an elegant dance of water cannons blasts cool shafts of water high into the night sky to the music of Sarah Brightman and other awesome musicians.
2. Cirque de Soleil: because America is in massive financial dire straights and the most entertaining and lucrative part of its primary symbol of decadence–the strip–comes from Canada, and Quebec at that.
3. the standard Las Vegas women's uniform: I'm going old-school manly here, but the combination of cleavage, heels and short dress really works, especially when pulled off awesomely by my 47 year old wife with all the correct equipment to do so. (My business partner looked pretty awesome in her uniform as well and her husband Jeff was pretty pleased.)
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