kryptonite

I've had numerous near death experiences as a climber and have fortunately graduated to the ranks of "old climber" from that of "bold climber". While I have no interest in repeating any of these experiences–some things are fun only the first time–I am very grateful for what I've learned about myself in the process of surviving them.

I recently had my fifteenth wedding anniversary with Tania. She was not a climber when we met, but she has become a superb climber over the years.

Just after our engagement and prior to our wedding in the spring of 1995, I took her on an alpine rock climb up Mount Edith, just outside of Banff. it was supposed to be easy and straightforward. it was not.

The route up the mountain and the way down were convoluted and complicated to say the least and we ended up off route on a part of the mountain that no one ever goes on purpose. As we were descending what appeared to be a viable way down, our rope got stuck and I abandoned it thinking we were just a short distance from the ground.

I continued to scramble down a gully, searching for a way down to the ground when I got to the top of an overhanging cliff 50 metres from safety. By this time it was 11PM and starting to get dark. We were caught between two overhanging cliffs. With no rope there was no way to go either up or down. I called up to Tania who I had anchored to the rock on a small cliff and said: "we're fucked". She started to cry. Here she was in her first season as a climber with her new fiancee stuck on a mountain that no one new we were climbing in an area that no one would think to look. Grave danger. Is there any other kind?

We had two headlamps, a powerbar, half a litre of water and a small amount of extra clothes. I gave her my pants and stuck my legs in our climbing pack and we settled in on our little ledge for the night. The ledge was just deep enough to sit in but only wide enough for three of our four ass cheeks. As the night turned cold, we tossed and turned quite restlessly. I kept waking up from what I thought were nightmares into the actual nightmare and as the night wore on I pieced together an escape.

I decided to leave the powerbar and water to the morning so that my brain and body would be functioning at its highest possible level. I was the more experience climber and when I saw Tania crying the night before, something clicked inside of me. I moved into a mode that I can only describe now as extremely "manly". Something primitive took hold and I needed to save the woman I loved.

The key to to rescuing ourselves was of course rescuing our rope. The night before when the rope got stuck, I reached up and cut as much of it as I could reach thinking that even a small amount would be useful to our scramble down. When I scrambled back up in the morning to the overhanging cliff where we had left the rope, it had shrunk back up the cliff face well above my reach (ropes stretch a lot when we slide down on them).

To retrieve the rope, I needed to climb about 3 body lengths of slick overhanging rock, several grades of difficulty above my climbing level. I then had to bat man my way up the rope another 30 metres to where it was stuck, the whole time hoping that the rope didn't suddenly get unstuck with me hanging on it (with the resulting fall to my death.)

Obviously, as I'm writing this, the story has a happy ending and it turned out to be the most seriously chivalrous romantic deed of life. It required a combination of emotional strength, physical skill and intellectual cunning I would not have guessed I was capable of. The thing that I have learned about myself from this and other extraordinary circumstances is that when the shit really hits the fan, so to speak, I'm the kind of guy you want around. I don't panic. I don't fall apart. I get calm and creative. I get the job done.

We all have strength that we maybe don't know we have because it's seldom called upon. But it is in all of us and we are all more capable than we realize.

And, we all have our Kryptonite–that person, circumstance or thing that zaps our personal power.

Mine is simple and it comes when someone challenges me on the price I charge as a professional coach or an invoice I have delivered and they are questioning the value. This is particularly true if I have been delivering or will be delivering the kind of heroic support that I do under very demanding situations.

It would be kind of like Tania saying to me after we got back to the car from our Mountain Edith adventure: "you think you saved my life? Whatever."

notes on selling coaching

1. Coaches in general make less money than other professionals.
2. A successful coaching practice is the result of both great coaching skill and great selling skill.
3. Many great coaches are not successful in business because they lack a sales attitude.
4. Great selling is both transactional and relational, requiring both masculine and feminine energy.
5. Selling is the coaching I do before I’m hired.
6. The objection that the prospect has to the coaching is the objection that the prospect has to their own personal and business growth.
7. The objection lies not in the prospect but in me the coach.
8. The objection that the prospect has to my coaching is the objection I have to selling.
9. Selling is an act of leadership. If I change my mind, my prospect is free to follow.
10. When I step up and take the lead, my prospect looks for reasons to buy.
11. When I step down and don’t lead, my prospect looks for reasons not to buy.