My wife Tania and I began golf lessons this spring and had our second one this past Saturday. I had been taught how to play at the age of seven and despite a twenty year break from the sport discovered I had pretty good body memory. This is the first training Tania has had but she learned how to figure skate starting at age three and completed that whole program over fifteen years. She is thus very athletic and has had the experience of mastering a sport from the ground up.
Our golf pro Cam has been teaching us drills. Golf has been coming back for me pretty quickly and I've gotten bored with them. But Tania is very disciplined and just does the drills.
For Tania, the ball is not yet going straight and up, but all over the place. Even so, Cam is very pleased with how she is mastering each component of the golf swing and stance. So even though the results are not there yet, she is in the process of mastering this very complex sport.
There is a lag between practicing something and the results showing up. It is possible and likely to be doing very well at something and assuming that I'm not doing well just because the results have not shown up yet. We all have to be prepared to have patience, discipline and joy during the lag.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
from me to we
For the past six months, I've been the chairman of a committee of extremely competent and committed coaches in charge of producing an award ceremony for the local chapter of the International Coaching Federation.
Last week, we awarded two Prism Awards to two very deserving organizations in Calgary, in front of an audience of 350 people. Brett Wilson delivered a powerful keynote address and Beverley Mahood and Kunny Munshaw inspired us all with the great music they've written and performed. By pretty much any account, the event was a great success and went a long way to build profile for professional coaching in Calgary. For me it was the best team experience I've had.
The event was the brainchild of last year's board, under the direction of then president Gord Aker. Gord and the board decided it was time to do something big. I think as coaches and as an organization of coaches, we sell our selves short and get caught thinking small about the contribution we have to make to society, organizations, team and individuals. It's a relatively new profession and we have not yet established our profile in the world.
Last year's board asked me if I could speak to Brett Wilson to see if he would be the keynote presenter (I'm his coach). Brett is a well-known entrepreneur and philanthropist in Calgary and has made a name for himself as one of the Dragon's on CBC's "Dragons Den". Such a high-profile consumer of coaching would no doubt help us build profile. As an association we were starting to think big.
I decided to volunteer on the committee that was producing the event, since Brett was my client. Then the chairman of that committee moved to Edmonton, so I thought I might as well volunteer to be chairman. Then the new board for 2010 needed a vice president and apparently the vice-president's job is to produce the Prism event, so I was volunteered for that role as well.
At first I was the only person on the committee so I articulated a vision for the event, coaching in general and the chapter specifically, along with a plan to execute the awards ceremony. Most of the directors signed on to the committee, realizing how vital the event was. Then a very cool group creativity kicked in and took over. It seemed that once there was a document that expressed the feeling and intentions of the team, the team took off and action followed.
I learned a lot about being a leader during this process and a lot about being on a team as I watched my colleagues take the lead. I was certainly not everyone's boss since we are all volunteers and yet everyone stepped up in ways that were certainly beyond my imagination. Nor did I make up a vision for me and try to sell it to the team. I think the team, myself included, had this feeling of size, burbling up for many years that wanted out. It's also very clear to me that I am and we are a part of creative process that neither started nor will end with me and us. I simply had the good fortune to come along at just the right time and put words to a very important feeling we all seemed to share. It seemed like my primary responsibility was to maintain a strong belief in the project, the team and each person on the team, making sure that the contributions of each team member meshed with the contributions of the other team members.
And, we pulled it off.
Last week, we awarded two Prism Awards to two very deserving organizations in Calgary, in front of an audience of 350 people. Brett Wilson delivered a powerful keynote address and Beverley Mahood and Kunny Munshaw inspired us all with the great music they've written and performed. By pretty much any account, the event was a great success and went a long way to build profile for professional coaching in Calgary. For me it was the best team experience I've had.
The event was the brainchild of last year's board, under the direction of then president Gord Aker. Gord and the board decided it was time to do something big. I think as coaches and as an organization of coaches, we sell our selves short and get caught thinking small about the contribution we have to make to society, organizations, team and individuals. It's a relatively new profession and we have not yet established our profile in the world.
Last year's board asked me if I could speak to Brett Wilson to see if he would be the keynote presenter (I'm his coach). Brett is a well-known entrepreneur and philanthropist in Calgary and has made a name for himself as one of the Dragon's on CBC's "Dragons Den". Such a high-profile consumer of coaching would no doubt help us build profile. As an association we were starting to think big.
I decided to volunteer on the committee that was producing the event, since Brett was my client. Then the chairman of that committee moved to Edmonton, so I thought I might as well volunteer to be chairman. Then the new board for 2010 needed a vice president and apparently the vice-president's job is to produce the Prism event, so I was volunteered for that role as well.
At first I was the only person on the committee so I articulated a vision for the event, coaching in general and the chapter specifically, along with a plan to execute the awards ceremony. Most of the directors signed on to the committee, realizing how vital the event was. Then a very cool group creativity kicked in and took over. It seemed that once there was a document that expressed the feeling and intentions of the team, the team took off and action followed.
I learned a lot about being a leader during this process and a lot about being on a team as I watched my colleagues take the lead. I was certainly not everyone's boss since we are all volunteers and yet everyone stepped up in ways that were certainly beyond my imagination. Nor did I make up a vision for me and try to sell it to the team. I think the team, myself included, had this feeling of size, burbling up for many years that wanted out. It's also very clear to me that I am and we are a part of creative process that neither started nor will end with me and us. I simply had the good fortune to come along at just the right time and put words to a very important feeling we all seemed to share. It seemed like my primary responsibility was to maintain a strong belief in the project, the team and each person on the team, making sure that the contributions of each team member meshed with the contributions of the other team members.
And, we pulled it off.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
holding the space
I was once given the task to assist a Canadian company and an American company it bought to merge. The senior people met in Kananaskis for two days to consider the strategy they would follow to move the joint entity forward.
For most of the first day, there was an atmosphere of acrimony in the room as twelve different people from two different camps considered what was truly most important.
In the afternoon I started a conversation about core values. It's difficult to build a new entity without a conversation about what realy matters to the participants. Within a short time the participants took over the conversation and came to clarity with very little direction from me.
At one point I was just off to the side saying nothing, marveling at how much progress they were making apparently without me. And yet the new level of harmony was a direct result of my presence in the room.
When it gets challenging, I think the job of the leader is to affirm the core philosophy of the group, even as they have forgotten it in the moment. I've always had the strong belief that despite our differences, as human beings we are all one. There is indeed a place of common ground in every group no matter how conflicted the group is. If my belief in the whole is greater than the conflict of the parts, I will amplify the version of that kind of thinking in each person and the group will find a way to resolve it's conflict.
One of the functions of a leader is to create an environment in which people have the invitation to grow. The word environment means "space around the mind." The philosophical dimension of a business might seem to some as flaky and woo woo, but it is the most powerful and practical force in a team. All value begins in the minds of creative people and only comes to fruition if they give it space to manifest.
For most of the first day, there was an atmosphere of acrimony in the room as twelve different people from two different camps considered what was truly most important.
In the afternoon I started a conversation about core values. It's difficult to build a new entity without a conversation about what realy matters to the participants. Within a short time the participants took over the conversation and came to clarity with very little direction from me.
At one point I was just off to the side saying nothing, marveling at how much progress they were making apparently without me. And yet the new level of harmony was a direct result of my presence in the room.
When it gets challenging, I think the job of the leader is to affirm the core philosophy of the group, even as they have forgotten it in the moment. I've always had the strong belief that despite our differences, as human beings we are all one. There is indeed a place of common ground in every group no matter how conflicted the group is. If my belief in the whole is greater than the conflict of the parts, I will amplify the version of that kind of thinking in each person and the group will find a way to resolve it's conflict.
One of the functions of a leader is to create an environment in which people have the invitation to grow. The word environment means "space around the mind." The philosophical dimension of a business might seem to some as flaky and woo woo, but it is the most powerful and practical force in a team. All value begins in the minds of creative people and only comes to fruition if they give it space to manifest.
tapping the system
Last year after 12 years of intense, full-time coaching of challenging, alpha-male entrepreneurs, I got myself burned out. The actual diagnosis was adrenal fatigue.
The adrenal system is the body's finely tuned stress management system and under repeated strain it eventually just gives out.
There are many lifestyle and dietary shifts to recover from burnout and it can take over a year to restore adrenal function. I cut out caffeine. transfats, most of the dairy I'm allergic to and much of the flour and sugar. I've shortened my work days and have added additional spa days. I've taken up golf, although, I'll see if this ultimately helps or hurts my stress level.
In addition to my physical lifestyle changes, in the past year I've had to look seriously at how I do my work.
My clients are very successful and very challenging. They have already looked under most of the rocks in their lives and businesses that might suggest clues to future growth and value creation. For me to be of value I have to operate within the cracks of what they they have not looked for and in the shadows of what they do not see.
I'll call the coach I was for the last thirteen years "Keith 1.0". I would say that one of the things that "Keith 1.0" did was take too much responsibility for solving the problems and finding solutions for the clients. This was natural since in my previous life I was a professional designer hired for my ability to solve problems and find solutions.
One of the ways that this behaviour shows up is in how much I choose to speak during a conversation with a client. Like many people, I do like the sound of my own voice and I've assumed, perhaps incorrectly, that if I'm not talking I'm not adding any value. This is the attitude that has left me burned out.
The new version of me is "Keith 2.0". This version remembers that people have the answers themselves. They are very intelligent, very creative and very capable and yet they are held back by what they do not see and do not know about themselves. My job is simply to help them shift their perspective and shine some light on some blindspots. Once they see what they don't see, their already considerable talents kick in and create a solution for themselves. This is vastly less taxing on my adrenals, but I've had to come to terms with the insecurity of appearing to not be "doing" much for my clients.
I used to be an archer. One of the things I remember about shooting a bow and arrow is this: a very small adjustment in aim makes for a very large variance once the arrow travels the distance to the target. And the longer the view, the more that very small errors in perspective and perception can accumulate to make for very large differences in results.
I don't have to do the work of pulling back the bow string. I just have to tap my clients on the shoulder, remind them of what they say is important and get them to make slight adjustments in aim and stance. The arrow then flies where it wants to fly.
The adrenal system is the body's finely tuned stress management system and under repeated strain it eventually just gives out.
There are many lifestyle and dietary shifts to recover from burnout and it can take over a year to restore adrenal function. I cut out caffeine. transfats, most of the dairy I'm allergic to and much of the flour and sugar. I've shortened my work days and have added additional spa days. I've taken up golf, although, I'll see if this ultimately helps or hurts my stress level.
In addition to my physical lifestyle changes, in the past year I've had to look seriously at how I do my work.
My clients are very successful and very challenging. They have already looked under most of the rocks in their lives and businesses that might suggest clues to future growth and value creation. For me to be of value I have to operate within the cracks of what they they have not looked for and in the shadows of what they do not see.
I'll call the coach I was for the last thirteen years "Keith 1.0". I would say that one of the things that "Keith 1.0" did was take too much responsibility for solving the problems and finding solutions for the clients. This was natural since in my previous life I was a professional designer hired for my ability to solve problems and find solutions.
One of the ways that this behaviour shows up is in how much I choose to speak during a conversation with a client. Like many people, I do like the sound of my own voice and I've assumed, perhaps incorrectly, that if I'm not talking I'm not adding any value. This is the attitude that has left me burned out.
The new version of me is "Keith 2.0". This version remembers that people have the answers themselves. They are very intelligent, very creative and very capable and yet they are held back by what they do not see and do not know about themselves. My job is simply to help them shift their perspective and shine some light on some blindspots. Once they see what they don't see, their already considerable talents kick in and create a solution for themselves. This is vastly less taxing on my adrenals, but I've had to come to terms with the insecurity of appearing to not be "doing" much for my clients.
I used to be an archer. One of the things I remember about shooting a bow and arrow is this: a very small adjustment in aim makes for a very large variance once the arrow travels the distance to the target. And the longer the view, the more that very small errors in perspective and perception can accumulate to make for very large differences in results.
I don't have to do the work of pulling back the bow string. I just have to tap my clients on the shoulder, remind them of what they say is important and get them to make slight adjustments in aim and stance. The arrow then flies where it wants to fly.
Monday, April 19, 2010
brevity and clarity
I once asked my mentor Jay Conrad Levinson for feedback on something I had written. Jay, who has published over 10 million marketing books, became that successful by writing clearly about complex subjects.
His feedback on my writing was: "Keith, I prefer writing that is brief and clear. Yours is neither. Love Jay".
This was my favourite piece of feedback of all time.
His feedback on my writing was: "Keith, I prefer writing that is brief and clear. Yours is neither. Love Jay".
This was my favourite piece of feedback of all time.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
the joy of repetition
Last night I saw a concert put on by Chris Botti and his ensemble. Prior to three days ago, I had not heard the man's name. I love all kinds of music and jazz is not necessarily at the top of my list. Nevertheless, I was blown away.
I played drums as a kid and one of the things that always struck me about drums is that people either can play or not. Lessons and practice develop the inherent talent, but not everyone has it in them to play. I have it in me to play.
The drummer in this group is Billy Kilson. I saw Billy do things with drums that I did not know was possible to do with drums. He is by far the best drummer I've ever seen or heard and I am a connoisseur of drummers.
At the end of the show, Chris spoke to a young musician in the audience who was learning to play the trumpet. His message to parents was this: the internet, playstation and guitar hero are not paths to greatness. Nurturing a child's capacity for "joyful repetition" is a path to greatness. It takes a long time to master anything and the only real way to stick with something is if I enjoy it.
The band is in its sixth straight year of doing 300 shows per year and yet every member of the group was full of joy.
Repetition usually means boredom for most people but this group was about as for away from bored as you can get.
It might be true that the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result", but it's also the definition of practice. True masters are those people who figure out how to enjoy practicing something.
I played drums as a kid and one of the things that always struck me about drums is that people either can play or not. Lessons and practice develop the inherent talent, but not everyone has it in them to play. I have it in me to play.
The drummer in this group is Billy Kilson. I saw Billy do things with drums that I did not know was possible to do with drums. He is by far the best drummer I've ever seen or heard and I am a connoisseur of drummers.
At the end of the show, Chris spoke to a young musician in the audience who was learning to play the trumpet. His message to parents was this: the internet, playstation and guitar hero are not paths to greatness. Nurturing a child's capacity for "joyful repetition" is a path to greatness. It takes a long time to master anything and the only real way to stick with something is if I enjoy it.
The band is in its sixth straight year of doing 300 shows per year and yet every member of the group was full of joy.
Repetition usually means boredom for most people but this group was about as for away from bored as you can get.
It might be true that the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result", but it's also the definition of practice. True masters are those people who figure out how to enjoy practicing something.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
the renaissance man: a celebration of intermediacy
This year I followed my mountain guide Patrick Delaney up some seriously hard frozen waterfalls. At 46, I do a lot less leading and a lot more following up ice routes these days. The risk and reward profile of the sport has changed for me at this point in my life. I still lead the moderate routes with my wife but leave the hard stuff for Patrick.
In some way this feels mediocre to me. I've had a struggle with this my whole life. A struggle with my ego that is. I feel the instinct for greatness, but the top climbers are always well above me, even though I've always been a pretty competent and confident climber. I'm just not an elite level climber. As a result I've always been close to, but outside the inner circle of the top climbers living in Canmore and Banff.
The same is true of every sport I do. I'm a pretty competent and confident mountain biker, golfer, skier, hiker and musher, but I'm not at the elite level in anything I do. I'm a solid intermediate in all of these sports.
The same seems also to be true of my professional and business skills. I'm the product of a rather varied apprenticeship. The clients I've been fortune to have in the past twenty-five years, along with my formal education, have given me a solid grounding in finance, production, entrepreneurship, research and development, marketing, human resources, health, fitness, philanthropy and relationships. I'm a decent writer and public speaker, I've learned to listen to people and I can resolve disputes. I'm not at the best in any of these disciplines. There is an elite level well above my head just like there is in climbing.
My references for my own personal greatness have in the past been the top people in each of these areas. I look at the level they operate at and sometimes feel deficient. I've judged whether I'm good enough based on the world-class in specific fields, which is just not an accurate way to evaluate someone who is, in effect, a generalist.
As a generalist, I'm reasonably competent and a confident in the bulk of personal and business growth disciplines. I'm not an expert in these areas, but I am a solid intermediate.
This leaves me with the question: if I have the instinct for greatness, what is my actual expertise? How does an intermediate person become great?
I think for me, the answer to that question is about perspective and alignment. With such a broad and but still reasonably deep background in all the major personal and business development disciplines, I provide a rare perspective that aligns the many forces acting on and through an entrepreneur.
I might not be an expert in finance, but I can support a growing business in breaking into a market niche to develop additional cashflow from the launch of a new service. I might not know as much about social media as the current marketing experts do but I have the capacity to help an entrepreneur realize that the problem he has with a teenager is the same issue he has delegating to his staff. I've helped venture capitalists and investment bankers lose weight and keep it off and many businesses make peace between their commercial ambitions and social responsibilities.
I have long associated intermediacy with mediocracy. This is a quirk of my own growth as human being. We all have the capacity for greatness in our own special way. Being good at a broad array of disciplines is, I guess, its own form of potential greatness.
In some way this feels mediocre to me. I've had a struggle with this my whole life. A struggle with my ego that is. I feel the instinct for greatness, but the top climbers are always well above me, even though I've always been a pretty competent and confident climber. I'm just not an elite level climber. As a result I've always been close to, but outside the inner circle of the top climbers living in Canmore and Banff.
The same is true of every sport I do. I'm a pretty competent and confident mountain biker, golfer, skier, hiker and musher, but I'm not at the elite level in anything I do. I'm a solid intermediate in all of these sports.
The same seems also to be true of my professional and business skills. I'm the product of a rather varied apprenticeship. The clients I've been fortune to have in the past twenty-five years, along with my formal education, have given me a solid grounding in finance, production, entrepreneurship, research and development, marketing, human resources, health, fitness, philanthropy and relationships. I'm a decent writer and public speaker, I've learned to listen to people and I can resolve disputes. I'm not at the best in any of these disciplines. There is an elite level well above my head just like there is in climbing.
My references for my own personal greatness have in the past been the top people in each of these areas. I look at the level they operate at and sometimes feel deficient. I've judged whether I'm good enough based on the world-class in specific fields, which is just not an accurate way to evaluate someone who is, in effect, a generalist.
As a generalist, I'm reasonably competent and a confident in the bulk of personal and business growth disciplines. I'm not an expert in these areas, but I am a solid intermediate.
This leaves me with the question: if I have the instinct for greatness, what is my actual expertise? How does an intermediate person become great?
I think for me, the answer to that question is about perspective and alignment. With such a broad and but still reasonably deep background in all the major personal and business development disciplines, I provide a rare perspective that aligns the many forces acting on and through an entrepreneur.
I might not be an expert in finance, but I can support a growing business in breaking into a market niche to develop additional cashflow from the launch of a new service. I might not know as much about social media as the current marketing experts do but I have the capacity to help an entrepreneur realize that the problem he has with a teenager is the same issue he has delegating to his staff. I've helped venture capitalists and investment bankers lose weight and keep it off and many businesses make peace between their commercial ambitions and social responsibilities.
I have long associated intermediacy with mediocracy. This is a quirk of my own growth as human being. We all have the capacity for greatness in our own special way. Being good at a broad array of disciplines is, I guess, its own form of potential greatness.
Monday, April 5, 2010
the highest leverage investment in a business is...
Tania and I had our first lesson with a golf coach since taking up the sport as a new couples activity.
After my first two uncoached trips to the driving range, I woke up the next day with a very sore back.
Cam, our new golf coach, watched me swing the club a few times and instantly noticed that I was not letting my legs follow through with my upper body, meaning that as my upper body was trying to twist around to complete the swing, my lower body was not. This was putting tremendous strain on my lower back.
He gave me a cue to work on and my follow-through instantly improved with the result that my back was not sore the next day.
That lesson was $100 for the two of us. Considering what we spent on clubs, what we will spend this summer on green fees and what we regularly spend on chiropractors, our investment in a good golf coach seems like the highest leverage investment of all.
After my first two uncoached trips to the driving range, I woke up the next day with a very sore back.
Cam, our new golf coach, watched me swing the club a few times and instantly noticed that I was not letting my legs follow through with my upper body, meaning that as my upper body was trying to twist around to complete the swing, my lower body was not. This was putting tremendous strain on my lower back.
He gave me a cue to work on and my follow-through instantly improved with the result that my back was not sore the next day.
That lesson was $100 for the two of us. Considering what we spent on clubs, what we will spend this summer on green fees and what we regularly spend on chiropractors, our investment in a good golf coach seems like the highest leverage investment of all.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
bridging the gap
During the first calendar quarter of 2010, I set my mind to shedding sixteen pounds. I was above my ideal athletic weight of 170 and had gotten to the upward limit of my comfort zone. For me this involved establishing two new habits: exercizing every work day and cutting the bulk of flour, sugar and starch out of my diet. After 13 weeks, I was down exactly 6.5 pounds, meaning that I had managed to create a 1750 calorie per week deficit from a combination of less intake and more output. This is a good sustainable pace, borne of real lifestyle changes, preventing a future yoyo in my weight.
Physical changes such as weight loss, cashflow improvement, debt repayment, employee morale are the results of technical processes. Weight loss is primarily a technical matter of working out more and eating less. As a species we've known that for a long time and yet most people remain overweight and some, disturbingly obese.
Last week I was driving and saw a very obese man walking awkwardly next to the road. He looked as though he was very laboured in his breathing and his gate was as painful to watch as I'm sure it was on his joints. At 350 plus pounds, this man was maybe 160 pounds over his ideal athletic weight and at least 100 pounds past a safe and reasonably comfortable weight. The aphorism "eat less and work out more" though technically an accurate solution would probably just start an acute depression, if it had not already.
The gap between my ideal weight and this other man's is an order of magnitude difference: 16 versus 160 pounds. At the rate I've been going, at a half pound per week, it would take this dude 320 weeks to lose his excess. While I need to keep my attention on my goal for just over 8 months, he would need to focus on his goal for over 6 years. I personally don't think I have that much resolve or attention span and it would easy to resign and just accept that nothing was ever going to change.
The eventual solution to our problems maybe technical, but the ultimate source of the solution is emotional and spiritual. Firstly, I'm not likely to change my technical approach until I feel different about myself. Whether it's weight reduction or debt reduction, it's tempting to think that I'll feel better about myself after I get rid of my extra bulk and debt, but I'm not likely to do do the technical work, in a sustained way until I feel better about myself.
My debt load and body mass reflect decisions I make. The size of the change determines the number of decisions that I need to make that are different than the ones I made to get me where I am. Six years to lose weight or pay-off debt can seem like a lifetime and in a way that's a clue. The ultimate solution is to make a permanent change in the way I live, rather than going on a physical or fiscal diet and then giving myself tacit permission to go back to my old ways once I've hit my target.
Real, lasting change does not happen without a strong spiritual connection to a compelling vision. It's not until I'm solidly in the process of changing my lifestyle that the physical results begin to show up. If I learn to enjoy the processes of physical and fiscal health for what they are, then it does not really matter how long it takes for the goal weight or the goal networth to occur.
The greater the gap between what I have now and what I say I want in the future, the greater the vision. The greater the vision, the greater the number of daily acts of faith to get there. Until I see myself differently and develop the strong belief in that vision, I'm likely to resign to the way things are.
Physical changes such as weight loss, cashflow improvement, debt repayment, employee morale are the results of technical processes. Weight loss is primarily a technical matter of working out more and eating less. As a species we've known that for a long time and yet most people remain overweight and some, disturbingly obese.
Last week I was driving and saw a very obese man walking awkwardly next to the road. He looked as though he was very laboured in his breathing and his gate was as painful to watch as I'm sure it was on his joints. At 350 plus pounds, this man was maybe 160 pounds over his ideal athletic weight and at least 100 pounds past a safe and reasonably comfortable weight. The aphorism "eat less and work out more" though technically an accurate solution would probably just start an acute depression, if it had not already.
The gap between my ideal weight and this other man's is an order of magnitude difference: 16 versus 160 pounds. At the rate I've been going, at a half pound per week, it would take this dude 320 weeks to lose his excess. While I need to keep my attention on my goal for just over 8 months, he would need to focus on his goal for over 6 years. I personally don't think I have that much resolve or attention span and it would easy to resign and just accept that nothing was ever going to change.
The eventual solution to our problems maybe technical, but the ultimate source of the solution is emotional and spiritual. Firstly, I'm not likely to change my technical approach until I feel different about myself. Whether it's weight reduction or debt reduction, it's tempting to think that I'll feel better about myself after I get rid of my extra bulk and debt, but I'm not likely to do do the technical work, in a sustained way until I feel better about myself.
My debt load and body mass reflect decisions I make. The size of the change determines the number of decisions that I need to make that are different than the ones I made to get me where I am. Six years to lose weight or pay-off debt can seem like a lifetime and in a way that's a clue. The ultimate solution is to make a permanent change in the way I live, rather than going on a physical or fiscal diet and then giving myself tacit permission to go back to my old ways once I've hit my target.
Real, lasting change does not happen without a strong spiritual connection to a compelling vision. It's not until I'm solidly in the process of changing my lifestyle that the physical results begin to show up. If I learn to enjoy the processes of physical and fiscal health for what they are, then it does not really matter how long it takes for the goal weight or the goal networth to occur.
The greater the gap between what I have now and what I say I want in the future, the greater the vision. The greater the vision, the greater the number of daily acts of faith to get there. Until I see myself differently and develop the strong belief in that vision, I'm likely to resign to the way things are.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
seeing blindspots
Last weekend my wife Tania went to purchase golf clubs. We decided golf was going to be our new couple's activity this year. A four hour round of golf is good time spent together.
We decided to get fitted for clubs on the thought that if we were going to do something we were going to learn to do it well and do it with the best equipment.
It turns out that at five foot eleven, Tania needed a men's set with extra length. She had only ever played with rented ladies clubs and in effect had never played with clubs that fit her. Her swing was always hunched and cramped. With her new clubs she started hitting the ball much better, which makes the game that much more fun for me since she is likely to throw her clubs less often. (I'm married to a very passionate woman from Montreal.)
When it was my turn, the fitter gave me a driver to try. I teed up the ball, set up my stance with the ball precisely one third the way between my left and right foot and was about to hit when the guy said: "why are you putting the ball there?" I was not sure what he meant. I started playing golf at age seven and this was the way I always did it. He told me to put the ball in-line with my left heel, explaining that I was to hit the ball during the upswing of the club head. I tried it and the bulk of my drives were suddenly going straight and long down the centre.
This year marks a return to golf after having quit in my early twenties. I decided back then that I was not mature enough to play golf. The problem was this: I never made friends with my driver. My first shot almost always went bad. My second shot was almost always from a bad lie and the whole game got continually worse, interspersed with the occasional brilliant shot. Had I known that simple tip for changing my stance, my relationship with golf would have been much different as it has now become.
I've told this story to several of my coaching clients who golf, all of whom know where to stand during a drive. It seems I was the only person alive who did not know this obvious little piece of information. It was a blindspot that was easy for a coach to fix. Many blindspots in business and personal life are this inobvious to a client but this obvious to a well-trained coach.
We decided to get fitted for clubs on the thought that if we were going to do something we were going to learn to do it well and do it with the best equipment.
It turns out that at five foot eleven, Tania needed a men's set with extra length. She had only ever played with rented ladies clubs and in effect had never played with clubs that fit her. Her swing was always hunched and cramped. With her new clubs she started hitting the ball much better, which makes the game that much more fun for me since she is likely to throw her clubs less often. (I'm married to a very passionate woman from Montreal.)
When it was my turn, the fitter gave me a driver to try. I teed up the ball, set up my stance with the ball precisely one third the way between my left and right foot and was about to hit when the guy said: "why are you putting the ball there?" I was not sure what he meant. I started playing golf at age seven and this was the way I always did it. He told me to put the ball in-line with my left heel, explaining that I was to hit the ball during the upswing of the club head. I tried it and the bulk of my drives were suddenly going straight and long down the centre.
This year marks a return to golf after having quit in my early twenties. I decided back then that I was not mature enough to play golf. The problem was this: I never made friends with my driver. My first shot almost always went bad. My second shot was almost always from a bad lie and the whole game got continually worse, interspersed with the occasional brilliant shot. Had I known that simple tip for changing my stance, my relationship with golf would have been much different as it has now become.
I've told this story to several of my coaching clients who golf, all of whom know where to stand during a drive. It seems I was the only person alive who did not know this obvious little piece of information. It was a blindspot that was easy for a coach to fix. Many blindspots in business and personal life are this inobvious to a client but this obvious to a well-trained coach.
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